A New Plot Line.

Since I am a character. And this is my life. Then. It's my story to write.

I tried for months and months. Maybe even years. To figure out where I was supposed to take my life. I wasn't quite sure which tale to tell. Which legacy to leave. Or. Rather. Where to burn my star. I knew who I was. That's for sure. I just wasn't positive on which path to lead. Then. I stepped back. I paused. And looked. I opened my eyes and realized something. I have always had it right in front of me. I've always had what I asked for. Since I was a little girl. I wanted to be a part of something bigger than. All of this. And it was staring at me. Straight in the face. This entire time.

Family.

I spent the last week and a half with my family. Not just my dad. Not just my sisters or brother. But. With my mom's family. I sat there in awe. At how. Loved we all are. How connected we all are. How close. We all are. And that's because of one person.

Dear Mamma,
   Thank you.
     For Everything.
   You gave me life. You gave me love. You gave me the truth of the Gospel. You gave me. A family. You brought us all together. Each and every one of us. Even the new members. Know of you. And talk of you. Like you're still here. You gave us. Each other. And nothing. Could replace that. You gave us each apart of you that shines when we're all together. We have all been touched by the legacy that you left us all. The hope that we could all be close. That we would all love each other. And help each other. Be with each other. Forever. Well, Mamma. I think. We're getting there.
   I think we all used to be a little hesitant. Not of just traveling to see each other. But. Spending days at a time with each other. But now. It's so. Easy. It's so. Enjoyable. I sat there. Watching your nieces and nephews run about. Watching my Aunts and Uncles. Watching my should be Aunt. And a new face to the family. Watched Dad and Whitney. And all I could think of. All I could feel. Was how grateful I was. For every single one of them. How connected we all are. And how much love we have for each other. And. That's all because of you, Mom. Everything you wanted this family to be. Is starting to happen. We love each other, Mom. More than you could have ever imagined. It's better. Than anything anyone could ever buy. Just sitting in the living room. Talking. Laughing. Is more than anything I could have ever wished for.
   Thank you Mom. For bringing us all together. For. Loving every person in this family. And thank you. For burning your star in the sky. So we could look at it everyday.
   I love you.

     Love,
   Your baby girl.

Change. Family. Love.

Things change. So fast. So fast you barely have time to comprehend what happened. Things change. For the better.


I finally had a wonderful day. A day I've needed for some time now.

My father is such a good man. One of the few gentleman left on this planet it seems. I know I can tell him everything. And I did. I talked so much I feel like he barely told me anything that was happening in his life. But, I'm sure he didn't mind. It's funny how you act when you're around someone so strong and powerful like him. Even though I'm his daughter, and know what a giant bear he is, I still would be intimidated by him if I saw him in a dark ally. So watch out. Hmm.. But I remember what my newest good friend said about him. "When he walked in the door, it was overwhelming. I could tell that he was a strong Priesthood leader. It's comforting.." And I knew exactly what she meant. I feel it every time I'm with him. Especially at my home. Our little home. Okay. Medium. Spacious. Home. That is filled to capacity with just. Love. Love of the Gospel. Love of the Lord. Love of our mother, who's spirit I feel is still there with us. Love of the Priesthood. Love of. Each other. It's amazing the feeling I get when I just know that I get to go home. And better yet, get to see my father. I know Heavenly Father is unbelievably incredible. Because. My earthly father. Seems to be perfect to me already. And he is an example of everything that God wants fathers to be. Just like Him. Thank you dad. I love you.

It's amazing the way God works. So wondrous. So. Breathtaking. It may take a while for people to realize why things happen. But. This last week. Especially the last two days. I've felt the love of God surround me. In everything I do. I went to Institute with a new friend. The lesson? Heavenly Father chastises those He loves. And through that love. Through all the mistakes you make. Through the Atonement. There's a way back. There is always. Always. A way back.

I have changed so much in the last little bit. And finally. It's for the best. And I know this. Because. I. Am happy. I. Am finally happy with where I am. Who I am. And who I'm with. I know that I have so many people that love me unconditionally and help me through all of these tough times. My new, wonderful, brilliant sister, Elimee, even was worried about me. Just talking to her made me feel better. And I know that's because she is such a great example to me of how I want to be. Just like my sisters. All three of them. And I guess my brother too. Lol. Dustin. He's amazing. So smart. So content. Easy going. The peacemaker. I don't know where I would be without him. He would probably have less marks on his chest from me stabbing him with a fork. But I know he loves me. I guess I need to talk about my other two sisters now too. Michelle. She helped raise me. Helped me become who I am today. Worries about me and talks to me. I can tell her anything and I know she'll have an answer for me. Always. Whitney. Whinney Whinney Whinnnneeeyyy. Practically my twin now. I love her so much. She's such an example of sticking through the bad to end up where you want to be. And not let people get in the way of those goals. Always lifts my spirits. Even when we fight about how opposite we are in some of our opinions.

I love my family. My little. Lovely. Family. There's not much else to say. Just that, I know that I was meant to be part of it. I'm in this for a reason. I'm the youngest because I have a purpose. I've gone through what I have because I'm meant to do great things. Help people. Inspire people. And I will. It just took me a while to realize that I'm not going through all of this for me. But for my future children. Whom I know are loving being with their grandma right now. Because one day. I get to hold them, and know that my mom has already talked with this angel. And I know that I will raise that child with all the knowledge and love that I have been given through these nineteen years of my life.

I. Am ready to be the woman that God wants me to be. I. Am ready to take on the world. So. Bring it.