The Puzzle.

Today. I look back at this past year and marvel at how I am thankful for so many things.

I am thankful for my family. I love everyone of their bright and unique personalities. I am thankful that they love and support me. No matter what. I am grateful that they know me so well and believe in me. I am thankful for the presents they give me. Mostly. Just being around me. And wanting to spend time with me. I am so loved. And am so blessed. I have been given so much in my life. Especially today. Especially in the last year. I am grateful that my mother spent the day with us, and that I was able to feel her spirit and her love around all of us. I am thankful for the way that she inspires me. And loves me. Even if it's on the other side of the veil. I am thankful for the fact that we are able to stay together and help each other through such a difficult time. I am thankful for the love that is in our home. And for the Gospel that we all know to be true. That seals us together. As a forever family.

I am thankful for my friends. The few that have stuck by me. Taken the bullets and the pain with me. And stood up for me. I am grateful for the way they make me laugh. For the way they encourage me and help me through everything that has happened. I am thankful that they let me shine the way I was always supposed to. I love them. And wouldn't be who I am today without them. Without their love. And encouragement.

I am thankful for the friends I once had. When I used to be apart of something that was. Special. When we thought that love was enough to keep us together. When we decided it would be a good idea to go to college together. Not knowing that it would tear me away from them. They taught me a lot about being my own person. And not forcing people to be apart of something they didn't want to be. They taught me that it was the right thing to do. To walk away. To keep the rest of the things unsaid. Locked away. They taught me that people change. For better or worse. And that some people can't stay friends forever. I learned a lot about loving unconditionally. But also about letting go. Cutting ties. And burning bridges. They taught me that some things are better left unsaid. And that no one is perfect. They taught me not to expect anything. And mostly. To do what's right for me. And to not please anyone. But myself.

I am thankful for my boyfriend. Who is also my best friend. Who loves me unconditionally. Even if I'm unreasonable. Even if I get mad. Even if I am a little crazy. He thinks I'm beautiful the way I am. And wouldn't change a thing. He treats me the way that men should treat a woman. He's wonderful. He's sweet. He's handsome. He has an amazing spirit. I can't even explain how much he has taught me about patience. And loving unconditionally. He's true to God and doesn't change when he's around older, "cooler" people. He's the same person all year round. With a few changes. For the better. As we get older. He's been my best friend since freshman year in High School. We've had some rough patches and fights. But. We continue to fix and compromise. Knowing that it's all for the best. Knowing that God. Has a plan.

I am thankful for the trials I've had. Graduating. Depression. Insomnia. College. They have taught me a lot about who I'm supposed to be. Everyone says that your first semester of college is the hardest. I don't think anyone could have prepared me for what was to happen. What I was going to do. Who I was going to lose. I don't think I would have believed it had someone told me. And someone did. I tried with my whole heart and might to keep it together. But. Maybe that's why things fall apart. Why some people are only in your life for a certain amount of time. It's so you can grow. So they walk in as a new piece of the puzzle. They help you find other pieces. And soon. They've served their purpose. And all you're left with are memories of the way people used to be. How they used to be apart of your puzzle. But they just don't fit anymore. And that's okay. That's why we have family. Because they will always be apart of your life. Always fit in. No matter who else falls away. Walks away. Runs away.

I'll always have my family. The pieces of my puzzle that will forever be. Apart of me.

Take A Bullet.

There's a song called Grenade by Bruno Mars. It's pretty self-explanatory.

'I'd catch a grenade for you.
Throw my hand on a blade for you.
I'd jump infront of a train for you.
You know I'd do anything for you.

I would go through all of this pain.
Take a bullet straight through my brain.
Yes, I would die for you.
But you don't feel the same.'

This song could easily be taken as a love sick pathetic teenage heartbreak song. Which. I'm sure most people have taken it. But. A person I look up to. So much. And love with my whole heart said something to me about this song, that pretty much changed. Everything.

'Isn't life about taking bullets? I mean. Not the literal gunshot bullet, but you're shot with hateful words, friends that once were. Taking a bullet for someone, I always thought, was literal as well as a metaphor. That you stand up for what's right, and if you're hated for it, the people that stick with you, take the bullets with you.'

You. Never took any bullets for me.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5